if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
