Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
