guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
