So drunk its hurt
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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