sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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