I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
