im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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