Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
