white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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