I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
