He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
