So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
