I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
