i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
