***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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