well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
