all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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