Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
is it fun? or sober?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
