we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
