his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
