yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
