I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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