the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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