Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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