I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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