Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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