Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
NoShamevember. You game?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
