Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
