You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
