it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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