im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
