just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
