we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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