oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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