You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
