Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
