he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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