I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
