just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
