I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
