Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
