Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
