just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
