we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
