just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
