Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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