I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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