I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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