His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
