she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
