Whod you bang
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
