that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
