I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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