giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize