Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
