It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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