I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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