He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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